Are you "suffering" from Damienitis too?
Dec 13, 2006 18:21:14 GMT 10
Post by Lozzy on Dec 13, 2006 18:21:14 GMT 10
I was driving home from work today (with D singing soulfully in the background) and came to think about all the differences in my behaviour that he has recently evoked since Idol 4 started. As a professional in the field, I have come up with a number of diagnostic criteria that lead to the label of chronic Damienitis (AKA Idolitis Mark 4).
Research has shown that that while both sexes are afflicted, the proportion of female to male sufferers is about 1000:1(to date). I have found that you need at least 5 of the following symptoms, over a period of 3 months to be correctly diagnosed with a mild case. Severe cases usually present with all symptoms.
1. Emotional lability: suffers have a marked propensity to increased episodes of crying when hearing D sing
2. Loss of speech (or limited speech): when encountering D at signings and live shows. Some sufferers simply garble unintelligibly.
3. Decreased motor ability: evidenced by inability to turn off CD player while D is playing or computer when reading D's forums
4. Increased compulsion to buy and read every newspaper that has an article of D in it.
5. Lurking conspicuously in newsagencies and compulsive spending of trashy mags which have at least 1 line and/or picture relating to D.
6. Chronic fatigue: usually related to spending most of life on fan forums, either reading or posting
7. Marked lack of interest in work practices: see above
8. Relationship changes: usually evidenced by partial/total lack of interest in anyone other than D
9. Increased compulsion for detail in anything D related i.e. what colour are his eyes, does he like eggs, etc?
10. Increased outbursts of temper: when anything negative about D is found
11. Fainting episodes are quite prevalent when hearing D's voice.
12. Drooling.
Cures: who wants a cure?? Usual simple methods of behaviour control such as oversaturation or gradual withdrawal can be dangerous for your health, and have been found to be completely useless as they exacerbate the symptoms.
Anyone else have any further symptoms to add??
Research has shown that that while both sexes are afflicted, the proportion of female to male sufferers is about 1000:1(to date). I have found that you need at least 5 of the following symptoms, over a period of 3 months to be correctly diagnosed with a mild case. Severe cases usually present with all symptoms.
1. Emotional lability: suffers have a marked propensity to increased episodes of crying when hearing D sing
2. Loss of speech (or limited speech): when encountering D at signings and live shows. Some sufferers simply garble unintelligibly.
3. Decreased motor ability: evidenced by inability to turn off CD player while D is playing or computer when reading D's forums
4. Increased compulsion to buy and read every newspaper that has an article of D in it.
5. Lurking conspicuously in newsagencies and compulsive spending of trashy mags which have at least 1 line and/or picture relating to D.
6. Chronic fatigue: usually related to spending most of life on fan forums, either reading or posting
7. Marked lack of interest in work practices: see above
8. Relationship changes: usually evidenced by partial/total lack of interest in anyone other than D
9. Increased compulsion for detail in anything D related i.e. what colour are his eyes, does he like eggs, etc?
10. Increased outbursts of temper: when anything negative about D is found
11. Fainting episodes are quite prevalent when hearing D's voice.
12. Drooling.
Cures: who wants a cure?? Usual simple methods of behaviour control such as oversaturation or gradual withdrawal can be dangerous for your health, and have been found to be completely useless as they exacerbate the symptoms.
Anyone else have any further symptoms to add??
;D 
